Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
