why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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