The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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