After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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