i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
