she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
