i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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