She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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