I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
