youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
