my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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