You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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