Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize