Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
