Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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