he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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