That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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