Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
