Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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