I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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