I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
