exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
