singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Even my vagina gasped.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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