Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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