'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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