It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
