we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
