Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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