I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize