She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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