Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
