She said her name was "party"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
