Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
