What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
