It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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