I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
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It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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