I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?