You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.