my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am