He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dating After Heartbreak
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.