Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
