dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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