Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
