Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just invented taco cereal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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