Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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