don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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