life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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