Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
