If i come over, it means nothing
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
