I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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