don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
