That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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