sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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