I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
