Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
