Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
