I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
