if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
