Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
