Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
