he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
