I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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