that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
