Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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