home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize